Monday Morning Mixtape 012: Play Ball!

Welcome to Monday Morning Mixtape, a PoYB Contributor-curated playlist of songs, made just for you at the start of each week.

Here's a good rule of thumb when it comes to the blurbs. Just write the first thing that comes to your mind. But then, go back and delete anything that you've written that mentions Monday Morning Mixtape, or even implies it. Trust me, your blurb will still work, and will be better for it.

"Play Ball!"

Songs for baseball's opening day

chosen by Gilson

Spotify

YouTube

"Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meat Loaf

from Bat Out of Hell, 1977

The back of our home butts up against a community park with two baseball fields; they were prepping it this weekend by adding dirt to the infields and mowing the grass in the outfields. Every Saturday in the spring and summer, they blast an unhinged playlist starting at 7 AM during warmups. I don't hate it, but my cats do. They usually relish sitting in the morning sun with me while I have a cup of coffee, but not if they have to hear Meat Loaf playing.  —Gloria


"Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin

from Physical Graffiti, 1975

I'll be pretty shocked if I'm the only one who writes about this song this week, but "Kashmir" makes for a great walk-on song, which is probably why Chase Utley chose it. However, it did make me think recently about our musical tastes growing up. In high school and college, I really liked a lot of classic rock, it was probably the first genre that I really gravitated to as I started making my own music-listening decisions. That's why I was flabbergasted when a few people I met referred to "Kashmir" as "the Chase Utley song." I was in disbelief that these kids(?)—that's what we were before the age of 21, right?—didn't know it was a Led Zeppelin song! It was pretty famous! But then I remember when I first heard a Pink Floyd song (and knew it was them) at the age of thirteen and got amused laughs from my parents when I told them about it. Our musical tastes growing truly are influenced by what our family members and peers listen to, unless you have an older sibling or cousin who encourages musical exploration. Since neither my parents nor my friends nor the bus drivers who took me to school ever played Pink Floyd songs in my presence, I can see why it was a blind spot. Likewise, I can now understand those classmates who only knew of a song because their favorite baseball player used it for their intro...  —Batts

"Centerfield" by John Fogerty

from Centerfield, 1985

This is probably the first song most of us thought of when we heard the theme was baseball for the mixtape. I was never on a team for baseball/softball, but my dad had (what felt like) hundreds of softballs that he got from yard sales. We'd cart them down to the little league field on Sunday afternoons, and he'd have me practice hitting all of them, gather them from the field, then switch to pitching them all. The purpose of this was so that I could play in a softball game for family reunions or work team-building days without embarrassing myself. The downfall of this approach is that, although I can hit and throw a softball, I still never learned the game's actual rules.  —Gloria

"Tessie" by Dropkick Murphys

from Tessie EP, 2004

I am legally obligated to send this in. 100% had the most bootleg version of this on CD where the disc itself was a spinning baseball. I don't even really LIKE baseball, but in like maybe fourth or fifth grade, I wrote a "haiku about baseball," and my teacher submitted to a national poetry competition, where it was Top Three in my age group, and published in some big fancy hardcover book they definitely don't have the money to make anymore. Anyways it was TERRIBLE, let's see if I can remember it, the competition was nonexistent, I legit think it was something like this:

"the crack of the bat

wow! im rounding the bases

green monster home run."

It definitely started with "the crack of the bat." I cannot currently name three starting Red Sox.  —Brian


"Thank God I'm a Country Boy" by John Denver

from Back Home Again, 1974

If you are really interested in the history of this song, you can refer to Day 106 of Yearlong Song Challenge. This will be played on opening day, this will bring thousands of fans together, this will also signal that alcohol sales are over very soon. I was a girl who grew up in a sports-obsessed family. I am not, never was. Maybe one day the bug will bite me. The only sport I could tolerate was baseball. I have grown to a low level of like. Easy to understand, slower paced, great snacks, and a lot of cute butts in pants. A lot of my favorite memories growing up are at Camden Yards. A lot of my first dates with Ryan were baseball games. It's easy to sun yourself in the stands and talk to friends and family. A sure sign of spring. I'll always be happy baseball is back.  —Sara

"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC
from The Razors Edge, 1990

The best thing Cole Hamels ever did—and I don't care who disagrees with me, especially fans of this present-day iteration of the Philadelphia Phillies—was hit Bryce Harper with a pitch on purpose. If I recall correctly, this was 2012. Musta been when Harper was a shit-licking teenage boy on the Nationals. Cole Hamels—who we all of course know is the most gruesomely tough and ruggedly jacked asskicker that has ever stomped onto the pitcher's mound—just goes up there and hits the dude, just to teach him a lesson. Didn't try to bullshit his way out of it. In the post-game conference, he, in his deep, manly voice, admits plainly that he hit the young whippersnapper on purpose, because this is how the game is played. Major League Baseball had no choice but to suspend our hero Hamels. And what of Bryce Harper? Well, he was awarded a base for getting plunked, promptly stole home, and then gently faded into obscurity...  —Joe


"Piazza, New York Catcher" by Belle and Sebastian

from Dear Catastrophe Waitress, 2003

San Miguel de Allende, Mexico — In 2017, my father-in-law met a Mexican woman on the Internet. He let us know they were dating, and would be visiting her soon. Our immediate reaction for this 65-year-old Jewish divorcee was that he was being catfished. Over the subsequent eight years, my working theory is that it was he who was pulling off the con. He now lives in this Bohemian mountain city in a sustainable living community with his girlfriend who is a self-help author of some renown (she was recognized by a fan in Philadelphia, for example). I am currently here with my family. Similar to this song, it's best not to prejudge people. Fuck the Mets. Go Phils.  —Sam

"The Night John Buck Hit Three Home Runs" by Pkew Pkew Pkew
from Siiick Days, 2023

After the Phillies won the '08 World Series, the Inquirer sports columnist at the time (his name has faded from my memory, Phil something I think) wrote a touching article the next morning, reflecting on all the pain and suffering that the city of Philadelphia had endured to get here, to another national sports championship. A line I'll always remember from it described all the mee-maws and pawpaws who had been buried in Phillies gear over the past 25 years. Sports aren't actually important, but they can give our lives meaning, if we want them to.  —Joe


"OK Blue Jays" by Keith Hampshire and the Bat Boys
a single, 1983

I've already written about it too much (smash that search bar, yo), so I won't go into the details, but I spent a year as a Blue Jays fan instead of a Phillies fan. I mean, I wasn't that invested in it to begin with, but I definitely watched a few Blue Jays games, and knew the players' names and whatnot. I don't really remember much. It was a weird time, man. Pam was pregnant for pretty much the entire season, I was still drinking a lot, I watched the same episode of Reba every day for over 100 days of the season, and also, who gives a shit, really. The one thing I remember was that Toby from Degrassi had a Blue Jays podcast. I was really close to listening. Really! I fucking hate, hate, hate podcasts, but I think Toby got the short end of the stick on that show and totally wouldn't mind listening to his thoughts about the Blue Jays. Maybe if he had guaranteed that I would hear thoughts about Degrassi alongside thoughts about Blue Jays, then I would've pulled the trigger. For example, does Toby think that Jay was listening to the Blue Jays radio broadcast as called by the great Tom Cheek in the van by the Ravine while Emma was giving him oral sex, or did Emma earn those blowjob bracelets during the week of June 3, 2004, when Cheek snapped his streak of 4,306 consecutive regular season games to attend his father's funeral? The crossover lore is fucking endless.  —Joe

"Play Ball" by Ashley McBryde ft. Brothers Osborne
from Ashley McBryde Presents: Lindeville, 2022

Top three catches I ever made in baseball (or baseball-adjacent sports):

3) 2002ish, P.A.L. championship game, Game 2 of a three-game series, we had gotten whipped in the first game and we're well on our way to getting blown out in the second and final. Hope was lost, so we seventh graders turned on the sarcasm and tried to have fun with it. I was pretty useless in left field. The other team's best batter smacked a ball right toward me. All I had to do was lift up my glove in the air and the ball went right into it. Out #3 of the inning, so we're all running into the dugout, pretending that we had a chance, screaming obscenities at the other team about how this is the start of a comeback, etc. Lost pretty badly, still had fun.

2) 2008ish, Cape May Villas pickup wiffleball game on the beach, two-on-two or three-on-three, pre-High Lifes, I'm in the outfield, shirtless, a little hungover, Mike or Kev or Dave or Jim or whoever I don't remember smacks the wiffleball over my head. I turn and make a spectacular sprawling one-handed catch on the beach, and land so hard that the wind is knocked out of me.

1) 2012ish, Katie's then-boyfriend Shane is huge and he's played baseball all through high school and college and now he's joining us occasionally for the pickup softball games we're having among friends at the Fox Chase Rec before the lights go out and we all make our way over to McNally's, every Tuesday night, and Shane hits a fucking bomb over my head in left field, and I knew it was coming so I'm already running, and I sprint faster than I've ever sprinted before, and I make a diving backhanded catch all the way on the other baseball diamond at the other end of the Rec. I don't think a single one of those jabronis said "nice catch" afterward. Maybe I'm misremembering the whole thing.  —Joe

"Play Ball!" by Modern Baseball
from Sports, 2012

For real though, it feels like all the important nights in my youth from the years 2007 through 2012—or the summer memories, at least—can be traced back to a specific Phillies game. The Broxton Blowout and Frank's party. Matt Stairs with a go-ahead dribbler down the middle and Cindy's party. Cole Hamels' nine-inning shutout vs. the Dodgers and a random crew of people at the erstwhile Beechwood house. Watching Brett Myers draw a walk through the dorm room windows during a fire drill. And on and on. As the years go on, I have a sneaking suspicion that maybe some of these nights wouldn't have been memorable without the pinch hit from a memorable Phillies game. Were the games the background to a good night or the foreground to those good nights? Does it matter?  —Joe

"Flight of the Bumblebee" by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov

a single, 1900

If you really think about it, da baseball is really kinda like the Bumblebee... buzzing around weewoo weewoo, where is this damb bee going... What else do I know about bees. I'm certainly not allergic... to good music!! But one time I did get stung yeah. This sounds made up but a bee flew out of my pants on the lazy river ride at Six Flags. I didn't put it there and yes unfortunately I survived. Buzz Buzz Bitch.  —Brian

"UNDERWATER BOI" by Turnstile and BADBADNOTGOOD

from New Heart Designs EP, 2023

(Most 30 year old guy voice of all time) You guys like Turnstile? I'm almost positive they threw out the first pitch at an Orioles game last season being da boys from Baltimore, the only connection I have to the Orioles is my alcoholic aunt met Cal Ripken Jr. years ago and for some reason we had a framed picture of her and Cal in a GOLD FRAME hanging in our house growing up. Another perfect example of me not really enjoying baseball but having fun with uhh everything else. I cannot imagine the Dropkick Murphys not having thrown out the first pitch yet themselves, I'm sure one of them is a part-time third base coach. Dropkick Murphys are still the same to me as blink-182 (Turnstile opened for them last year): horrible fucking bands I pretended to like when I was twelve. Turnstile is okay tho, I think this song with the white jazz boys is about Spongebob :)  —Brian


"Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkel

from Bookends, 1968

"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? / Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you." I don't have any Joe DiMaggio anecdotes, but I do have one for Dock Ellis, who also played for the Yankees at one point in his career. When I was in middle school, my dad and his brother went to a day camp where you could play baseball with retired players. They were on Dock Ellis' team. His brother is a Pittsburgh Pirates fan, so this was a pretty big deal for my uncle. It was a fun day, hanging out with my cousins and watching our dads live out a dream. Years later, I learned that Ellis threw a no-hitter in 1970 while under the influence of LSD from this animated short. Throwing a no-hitter is an amazing feat, even more so if you do it while on a psychedelic journey!  —Gloria

NEXT WEEK: "Girl Power!" — Songs to celebrate Women's History Month (chosen by Sara)