Summer Song Challenge, Day 43: Pat

Prompt: "A song that's so much better than 'Bohemian Rhapsody' that it honestly makes 'Bohemian Rhapsody' sound like the Mister Softee jingle"

Selected by Pat

"The Weight"

The Band

Music from Big Pink, 1968

SCENE 1

[INT: Moving car. The audience sees PAT from the POV of a phone camera propped up on the dashboard. PAT sits in the driver's seat, hands on the wheel. He is addressing the audience, but does not look at the camera. Like every other idiot who can only make videos about their hot takes while driving, he is wearing tactical sunglasses.]

PAT: And that's why I don't like "Bohemian Rhapsody." It's a glorified sing-along. Queen themselves didn't even take it seriously. You can't convince me a song is "great" just because it's fun to sing all the words. 

SCENE 2

[INT: An Irish bar in Delaware County, PA. It does not matter which one. It is St. Patrick's Day. Dozens of drunk people in Blue Lives Matter / Punisher skull T-shirts are bragging about how their great uncles were in the IRA, not realizing the IRA were mostly socialists and would hate them. PAT, wearing a Jeff cap and a Guinness hoodie that he found while cleaning out his dead grandfather's garage, is there with his wife's family. Suddenly, the live band takes a break from Pogues covers and begins playing "The Weight." The lead singer is gone. Best case scenario is he is in the bathroom. PAT, having loved this song since seeing Easy Rider in high school, leaps onto stage. He is the soberest person in the bar by a mile. It is 2:00 in the afternoon. He begins singing.]

PAT: Take a load off, Fanny!

Take a load for free!

Take a load off, Fanny!

And, and, and!

You put the load right on me!