Facts About The White Album

The White Album was released by the Beatles on November 22, 1968, so it will be 50 years old tomorrow. Here are some facts about this album.

• This is my favorite Beatles album.
• I openly acknowledge the fact that this is not the BEST Beatles album. There are just too many bad songs.
• (Okay, gun to my head, BEST Beatles album is probably Revolver, but don't hold me to that.)
• It's a great fucking album because it's so varied, even when those varieties are noisome and Yoko-ish.
• It's stupid to try to create a "slimmer" White Album, because that defeats the whole purpose of the album. The White Album isn't just a collection of the best cuts from a session. It's the entire session, warts and all. If you cut out "Cry Baby Cry," it would cease to be The White Album.
• (By the way, I don't italicize "The White Album" because it's not the album's actual name. That would be The Beatles.)
• I owned a physical copy of this double album. The music could all fit on one 80-minute CD, but they still packaged it as a double, which to me is a money-grubbing piece-of-shit tactic. I had no qualms ripping that shit, combining the two discs, and giving the official copy to Philly AIDS Thrift.
• For these same reasons, I would never purchase the 50th Anniversary Edition with bullshit bonus tracks, and I implore Santa to please not waste your money on this materialistic trash.
• The "everything and the kitchen sink" method employed here by the Beatles should in no way be compared to similar tactics taken recently by high-profile pop stars. I guess that Migos triple album or every Drake album is the kind of thing I'm talking about. Those "albums" are compiled as playlists to generate the maximum number of streams online. The Beatles put everything on the album because that in itself was the concept. It wasn't blatant manipulation.
• "Revolution 9" is the worst song of all time. There are no rivals. A true story, one that I may or may not have told here before on PoYB: the first time I ever listened to The White Album, I was on my parents' family room couch. When it reached "Revolution 9," I legitimately had to put the Discman down on the coffee table and run into the bathroom to throw up. No exaggeration.
• Both my least favorite Beatles song and favorite Beatles song are on this album.
• In fact, let's get Joe K***'s definitive ranking, since the indie blogosphere has already ranked them. See below.

The 30 White Album songs, in order from worst to best

#30-#26: The Beatles Should Be Ashamed of Themselves

30. "Revolution 9"

29. "Wild Honey Pie"

28. "Piggies"

27. "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La Da"

26. "Honey Pie"

#25-#21: Pretty Lame, but a Little More Bearable I Guess

25. "I Will"

24. "Long, Long, Long"

23. "Martha My Dear"

22. "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?"

21. "Don't Pass Me By"

#20-#16: When the Mood Strikes Me, These Songs are Perfectly Fine

20. "Julia"

19. "Blackbird"

18. "Savoy Truffle"

17. "Cry Baby Cry"

16. "The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill"

#15-#11: Would've Just Made It Onto a Single-Disc White Album

15. "Good Night"

14. "Mother Nature's Son"

13. "Yer Blues"

12. "Rocky Raccoon"

11. "Birthday"

#10-#6: Great Songs for Any Occasion

10. "Helter Skelter"

9. "Revolution 1"

8. "Glass Onion"

7. "White My Guitar Gently Weeps"

6. "I'm So Tired"

#5-#1: Some of the Best Shit That the Beatles Did, Period

5. "Back in the U.S.S.R."

4. "Sexy Sadie"

3. "Happiness Is a Warm Gun"

2. "Dear Prudence"

1. "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey"