Well, it's been a rough winter thus far, with more snow than I can remember having in a long time. And we're supposed to get even more snow tomorrow, which is absurd. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving it. It gives us kids a well-deserved break from the hustle and bustle of school life and allows us to just relax, be snowed in, and enjoy each others company over some day drinking.
I have to say, though, that this year, something is different. One aspect of my life is now affected more than it was in past years. You see, this is the first winter I own my own car, and it is a pain in the ass in the snow. My '91 Camry is terrible on the roads, and constantly just shuts off, sometimes right in the middle of Broad and Olney.
The worst part, however, is saving your parking spot. Because I refuse to shovel my car out for an hour only for some damn thief to enjoy my hard work and steal that dry rectangle in the street.
Which got me thinking. How was I going to save my spot this year? I think it's pretty lame when someone just puts a chair or cone to save a spot. There are many more creative solutions to this problem...
A construction worker
Because they just stand around all day anyway.
A patronus
Expecto Patronum!!
A case of Pabst Blue Ribbon
Gross! No one is going to go near that shit.
The girl from The Incredibles
She could, ya know, do that force field thing she's good at.
Otto Rocket, Reggie Rocket, Twister, and the Squid
They just wanna do some gnarly backflips on that sweet powder! Woogity woogity woogity.
The Super Bowl Shuffle
This may provide them with a reason to stay relevant.
The Smoke Monster
Or the Man in Black. Or Fake Locke. Or Esau. Or whatever we're calling him these days.
A dizzy crosswalk from Rockledge
Not that people affected by these crosswalks should be driving, anyway.
Jay Leno
He seems to be good at keep his spots, even when some people say he may not deserve them.
Lady Gaga's penis
Ah, who am I kidding? You could totally park a car on it.
A strict RA
"No playing water pong in this parking space!"
The bum from "Billie Jean"
What, do you think Michael Jackson dressed him up for no good reason?
Oh boy, I'm so glad I skipped doing my homework to put together this shit blog post.
2 comments:
You're still crying over the Mehow thing? Get over yourself Joe.
The M**** bit seems like pretty harmless fun, then and now (Ashley and I subsequently fought about it over FB messenger anyway).
However, I do want to apologize for the transphobic bit that I used above that. I have no excuse for it—I was a shitty 20-something, and I've since come to realize that those "jokes" aren't funny. If you're reading this blog post from 2010 looking for reasons to put me in hot water, you found it—2010 Joe sucked. 2021 Joe is trying harder.
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