Holy shit this was a good beer. Maybe I'll say that about anything that's not an IPA. Maybe I'll say that about any beer that I get to split with my wife after an emotionally draining day of child rearing. Or maybe Randy Mosher is right—a weissbier is the perfect beer for a beautiful day in Spring.
Tasting Beer has a list called "The Year in Beer," which is something I really wish I would've discovered before April 21st. It seems pretty subjective—obviously, there aren't hard and fast rules about what beers should be imbibed on the first day of school or during Lent, etc.—so I'll be playing loose with the suggestions as the year marches forward. Still, the beer I had today was right on the fucking money, so it can't hurt to take some suggestions.
Here's the list. Maybe by the end of the year, I can add a few more suggestions (e.g. "X is the perfect beer for the annual Jersey Shore trip, but Y is the perfect beer for Pike Hike Remembrance Day," etc.).
New Year's Eve — Say "NO" to "boring old champagne" (Mosher fucking HATES non-beer, but re:champagne, I'm on the same page) by drinking a Belgian-style tripel, like Piraat.
New Year's Day — Weizenbocks are apparently a good recovery beer (ironically, it's because of this project that I have not needed a weizenbock during this project).
St. Valentine's Day — A milk chocolate imperial stout might make up for the fact that I forgot to get Pam chocolate (Narwhal is probably a good beer to try—just make sure you drink it AFTER sex, not before! 11.8% ABV could give you whisky dick!!!)
Lent — Dopplebocks are apparently a "proven remedy for mortification of the flesh," which smells like bullshit but is such a hilarious phrase in this context that I'll drink a dopplebock just because of it. (Haven't drank one yet this year, but there is currently one sitting in my fridge! Too bad Lent is over!)
Easter — Maibocks for the drinkers who gave up beer for Lent, but raspberry lambics for Aunt Ruth when she comes over (can't have her getting drunk and breaking her hip). Have some Framboise, Aunt Ruth.
The first really nice day of Spring — I may have missed the mark with today's weissbier, but does weather even exist anymore?
"May" — No holiday listed for this month. I guess Randy Mosher isn't close with his mother. He suggests another maibock for May. I haven't had one of those yet this year (I'll get around to it). I do know that Pam would prefer SeaQuench Ale on Mother's Day, so let's stick with that and save the maibock for Easter.
"June" — Mosher calls it "Indian Pale Ale" month, relegating the shittiest beer type to the month with no holidays.
Fourth of July — Obviously gotta go with something proudly American (Mosher calls them "lawn-mowing beers). He lists a few, but something about Cream Ales seems the most American to me (try Newburgh Cream Ale, even though it was made in New York UGH). Just don't buy any beers with American flags on the label, because that's against Flag Code.
St. Swithin's Day (July 15th) — This is a British thing. Apparently light beers are good. I don't get it.
Dog days — Thirst-quenchers are recommended. Really any hefeweizen will do. (This makes me realize that I haven't had many good hefeweizens this year so far. The most recent, Stoop Fireflies and Fool's Gold, were fucking busts. Just drink today's beer again.)
Back to school — There's some hemming and hawing, but let's just say this—for back to school, you need a good autumnal beer that isn't Octoberfest- or pumpkin-flavored, because those come later. schwarzbiers sound like they fit the bill (the Duck-Rabbit variety was pretty decent (no "bill" pun intended, though)).
Oktoberfest — Literally any fucking beer that has that name on the fucking label.
Halloween — Apparently there are such things as pumpkin-spice imperial porters, so I am telling you right now, seven months in advance, that I will be seeking one out and drinking it on Halloween 2020 (whether trick-or-treating has been cancelled or not)!
"Turkey time" — Just call it Thanksgiving, dude, jeez. Apparently you can cook turkey with Scotch Ale, but you should drink a tripel alongside the consuming of said bird. (Piraat gets all the love, but Golden Monkey will do in a pinch.)
Christmas Eve — Mosher makes up some bullshit about santa liking imperial pale ales, so I guess we're sticking with that. (Hey, Kegnog might actually work well for Christmas Eve.)
The holidays — "big, celebratory beers" are the name of the game here. Sounds expensive. I'll just stick to my discount Fegley's.
I'm a little disappointed with this list, but then again, it's tough to pair beers with holidays. I get it. What the fuck am I gonna drink for Flag Day?!
NOTES
BEER: Weißbier Hell (the ß sounds like a sharp S)
GENRE: German Hefeweizen
ABV: 5.3%
BREWED BY: Würzburger Hofbräu AG
LOCATION: Würzburg, Germany
PURCHASED AT: IGA
PAIRED WITH: pretzels (also, Willow spilled Pam's beer, go figure)
GRADE: 4.5 pukes out of 5
BEER COUNT: 157.5
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