The Albums That Matter: Begin to Hope

Joe runs through every album on his iPod, mostly in alphabetical order, and offers some brief thoughts. Check out previous columns HERE.

Begin to Hope

Regina Spektor

2006

I've used "theater kid music" as shorthand to describe Regina Spektor before (twice on this blog so far), but it took until sitting down to write this column's Begin to Hope entry to really try to understand what that means. On the surface level, I mean it to say that my friends in high school who were into theater were also into Regina Spektor. But the audience shouldn't define an artist like that, especially in such an anecdotal way. The question that I've struggled to answer is: What made/makes Regina Spektor appeal so much to kids who are also in theater?

I reached out to my buddy Drew (Connie Converse Drew, not There Will Be Blood Drew), because he is the only one from my old high school crew that I have any contact with anymore—not to mention the fact that I specifically remember first stealing a copy of Begin to Hope from Drew's desktop computer. I wanted to know if he felt the same way about Spektor acting as a, um, specter in his high school theater memories as well.

He agreed that he felt the same way about Regina Spektor, that I wasn't making it up that this type of music appealed to our gang, the kids that hung out in the chorus room during free periods. He linked me to a Twitter thread that described a general mid-'00s fad that this was all wrapped up in better than I could describe it myself.

The "whimsy fad" is a perfect description for what I briefly went through in high school, before a swimming pool of Natty Light in college beat the whimsy out of me. So many cringeworthy things, like writing shitty poetry and leaving it in parks for strangers to find, that kind of shit. And maybe Regina Spektor was just quirky enough to resonate with that mindset.

But I'm not sure that does enough to explain the connection between theater and Regina Spektor. For that, we turn to Wallace Shawn, and his 2011 essay "Why I Call Myself a Socialist" (his central anti-capitalist thesis is worth exploring, but is not the point of bringing his essay up in this markedly worse essay about Begin to Hope). He explains that the role of a thespian is unique, because it is a role that is used to explore some inner truth of the self. I may not be confident in real life, but I could go on stage and perform as someone who is confident. Shawn argues that this isn't an act, but rather that the actor is finding out what he, the actor, could possibly be in certain circumstances. It's not a falsehood, but rather a hidden truth.

Not that we all sat around the chorus room and discussed such truths—a large percentage of any thespian motivations we all shared involved the unique opportunity theater presented in being able to meet girls at an All-Boys School. But looking back, and thinking about my best friends from that time period, each one individually, I'm confident that all these guys really did possess that unique ability, to be able to become someone else entirely on that stage, and understand the true depths of who we all truly were. I played a seven-foot-tall clown in a circus version of Godspell. I am not literally a clown... but I could be, and I certainly feel like it sometimes, and so that tall clown was a part of me, was a deep inner truth of some version of me that I feel bubbling inside me.

I think, in this way, we felt a kinship with Regina Spektor, who so clearly was a thespian at heart. She was clearly not Delilah from the Bible, or a cocaine user, or Paul McCartney, but in "Samson" and "Hotel Song" and "Edit," she sang passionately like she truly was those things. These songs made you believe that she was. They made you believe that she was on stage, finding some inner truth about herself.

Or maybe "Fidelity" is just a fucking jam. I dunno.

If this album sounds interesting, try this song: "On the Radio"

Stray Observations

• Such a silly main body is going to require a lot of solid stray observations to make up for it. Regina Spektor deserves better than this.
• I wonder how many people only know Spektor from the Orange Is the New Black theme song? If you are only reading this because you are familiar with that amazing Netflix show, then please do yourself a favor and listen to Begin to Hope. You'll like it.
• Drew, if you are reading this, thanks for letting me steal this album from you all those years ago. When I copied it onto my iPod, the number of plays each song had gotten on Drew's computer was copied over as well, and I remember specifically that "Samson" was in the triple digits, well surpassing any other song. I know Drew well enough to know that squares perfectly with his musical tastes. (But not with his movie tastes.)
• I learned from reading Meet Me in the Bathroom that Regina Spektor went on tour with the Strokes for their 2003/04 Room on Fire tour, which doesn't make sense on paper. But apparently Julian Casablancas was a big fan, and insisted that she be the opening artist. I have to imagine that Julian Casablancas is a thespian at heart too.
• And apparently Strokes guitarist Nick Valensi plays guitar on "Fidelity," so there's that.
• Let's talk about some other songs. "On the Radio" was featured on episode 1 of WPPR, which I know y'all listened to, right?
• Speaking of acting our true selves, how about Spektor pretending she is an elementary school teacher in the video for "On the Radio"? If that's not inner truth then I don't know what is.
• True story: Every time I see a woman in a low-cut shirt walking around Center City, I hear Spektor in my head: "Summer in the city / cleavage, cleavage, cleavage."
• Underrated: how great the vocals are on this album, despite being some overly cutesy too. My favorite is on "That Time," when she is describing tangerines, and her voice hitches when she sings "JUICY."
• ALBUM COVER: Can't say that she isn't attractive as hell, right?
• ALBUM NAME: That whole "whimsy fad"? Yeah, consider this part of it based on the title alone.
• Let's talk about her other albums. I am really only familiar with one other album of her, Soviet Kitsch, released prior to this one. It's another great one, but unfortunately I will be dead before this column gets to it. I don't know if I have the willpower to explore any of her other shit—I'm well past high school, and I don't think it'll land with the same oomph as it did then.
• CHARTS: Surprisingly, this album peaked at #20 on the Billboard 200 (Late Night Special by Pretty Ricky was #1, and I have absolutely never heard of him). "Fidelity," apparently Spektor's only single to ever chart on the Billboard Hot 100, peaked at #51. The #1 song at the time was "This Is Why I'm Hot." Holy FUCKING SHIT, remember that song?! So bad, so good.
• Garden State 2: Back to the La Salle Chorus Room.

NEXT TIME: Bell House by Shy Boys