I gave my iPod a short break from the constant onslaught of indie
rock jams to try out some new musical genres that I’ve never really
given the time of day.
Paradise Gallows by Inter Arma
Genre: Metal
Why This Album Particularly: I don’t know anything about metal, so I went to the place I usually go for all musical knowledge, Stereogum. They have a monthly metal column that I rarely, if ever, read. Last December they ranked the best metal albums of 2016, so I downloaded #1. Here we are.
How Was It: Look, I know why people listen to metal. This isn’t some type of mystery to me. People love metal because to these people, the constant crescendos and the guttural yell-singing and the hard-as-fuck guitar riffs, all this shit gets people PUMPED. And I know that feeling. I know what it means to have a visceral reaction to music. It’s a great feeling! But to get that from metal, you need to appreciate the aforementioned musical flourishes that metal brings to the table. For the most part, I can’t appreciate it. To me, this music just feels like one big interlude, like it’s all building up to something. But that something never comes. I acknowledge that metal can be cathartic for a certain type of listener. I acknowledge that I am not that listener.
Will It Stay on My iPod: Probably not. Could I learn to like this album? Sure. Could I foresee it becoming annoying whenever it pops up on shuffle? Fuck yeah!
UN2VERSE by Jessi
Genre: K-Pop (Korean Pop)
Why This Album Particularly: Honestly, I had a hard time finding a way to download K-Pop for free. My usual sites didn’t have anything useful. So I downloaded this album because it was really the only one I could find without paying for it.
How Was It: Honestly, I was disappointed, mainly due to how similar it sounded to American pop music. At times I swore I was listening to a Fergie album. It featured slick, boring production, generic beats, and even lame-ass quasi-rapping (kind of reminded me of this sometimes). I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe more of a throwback to, like, Spice Girls or Backstreet Boys or something. I definitely wasn’t expecting this bland shit.
Will It Stay on My iPod: Nah. As short as UN2VERSE was, it still annoyed me. There was even a song about a human being the singer’s "spirit animal," which is a huge pet peeve of mine. Fuck this.
Kill the Lights by Luke Bryan
Genre: Mainstream Country
Why This Album Particularly: Country, more so than any other musical community on earth, still shows a good amount of support for our orange leader trump and the so-called "conservative" ideals that he allegedly represents. So I tried to find a country star that wasn’t outward in his/her support of a tyrant. After a deep google dive, I couldn’t find any evidence that Luke Bryan has expressed any support for our president. He’s not outspoken against the guy either, but that was too much to ask for as far as mainstream country goes, I realize. However, I found this hilarious article about Bryan talking about Christmas, which apparently means that he HATES LIBERALS!!!1
How Was It: Unlike the K-Pop album, this was EXACTLY what I expected. If I didn’t know anything about Luke Bryan I would’ve maybe thought this was a parody of country music (okay, here’s the actual country parody). It’s littered with everything you expect: references to praying to God; sing-along choruses about drinking alcohol; plenty of talk about cowboys and whether you are a cowboy and if you’re not should you at least act like it; a song literally called "Huntin’, Fishin’, and Lovin’ Everyday." While some of the songs were okay, maybe even catchy (I did like the aforementioned alcohol-drinking chorus of "Home Alone Tonight," for example), I can’t help but just straight up hate this shit on principle alone. I know, I know, this one’s on me. It absolutely has to do with the "Culture War" aspect of it, as if Bryan is singing "If you’re a good ol’ boy who loves his momma and God and his cowboy boots, then you’re one of the good ones." It just rubs me the wrong way, because I am an asshole. I am an asshole too for imagining all the teens in fake cowboy boots and hats from the Northeast going over to Camden to see Luke Bryan sing this shit at the BB&T Pavilion, and resenting them for it. I’m Holden Caulfield, calling these people phonies!
Will It Stay on My iPod: Nope, fuck this shit.
Drunk by Thundercat
Genre: Jazz Fusion
Why This Album Particularly: I was tangentially familiar with Thundercat through his work with Kendrick Lamar on To Pimp a Butterfly. Listening to this album, it’s pretty clear what aspect of the sound on that album was due to Thundercat, especially those funky fart-y bass lines and keys.
How Was It: The bar to clear was quite low, but nevertheless, Drunk was the best album I listened to today. It was a little boring at parts; it definitely didn’t have to be close to an hour, and I despise when albums have sub-minute vignettes of any kind (doesn’t matter what band). But it really worked as background music as I typed up some reports at my work desk. Regarding the Kendrick thing—Drunk honestly sounded like the slower parts of To Pimp a Butterfly, minus the rapping. Again, not necessarily a bad thing, but nothing I could see myself getting excited to listen to, ya know?
Will It Stay on My iPod: Hmm. I think this one might actually be a Yes, at least on a trial basis. It was mildly enjoyable, and it might be nice to have a couple more mid-tempo funk jams on the iPod to compliment Childish Gambino’s latest effort. So unlike metal, K-pop, and mainstream country, I didn’t completely hate this!
Love,
Joey
Genre: Metal
Why This Album Particularly: I don’t know anything about metal, so I went to the place I usually go for all musical knowledge, Stereogum. They have a monthly metal column that I rarely, if ever, read. Last December they ranked the best metal albums of 2016, so I downloaded #1. Here we are.
How Was It: Look, I know why people listen to metal. This isn’t some type of mystery to me. People love metal because to these people, the constant crescendos and the guttural yell-singing and the hard-as-fuck guitar riffs, all this shit gets people PUMPED. And I know that feeling. I know what it means to have a visceral reaction to music. It’s a great feeling! But to get that from metal, you need to appreciate the aforementioned musical flourishes that metal brings to the table. For the most part, I can’t appreciate it. To me, this music just feels like one big interlude, like it’s all building up to something. But that something never comes. I acknowledge that metal can be cathartic for a certain type of listener. I acknowledge that I am not that listener.
Will It Stay on My iPod: Probably not. Could I learn to like this album? Sure. Could I foresee it becoming annoying whenever it pops up on shuffle? Fuck yeah!
Genre: K-Pop (Korean Pop)
Why This Album Particularly: Honestly, I had a hard time finding a way to download K-Pop for free. My usual sites didn’t have anything useful. So I downloaded this album because it was really the only one I could find without paying for it.
How Was It: Honestly, I was disappointed, mainly due to how similar it sounded to American pop music. At times I swore I was listening to a Fergie album. It featured slick, boring production, generic beats, and even lame-ass quasi-rapping (kind of reminded me of this sometimes). I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe more of a throwback to, like, Spice Girls or Backstreet Boys or something. I definitely wasn’t expecting this bland shit.
Will It Stay on My iPod: Nah. As short as UN2VERSE was, it still annoyed me. There was even a song about a human being the singer’s "spirit animal," which is a huge pet peeve of mine. Fuck this.
Genre: Mainstream Country
Why This Album Particularly: Country, more so than any other musical community on earth, still shows a good amount of support for our orange leader trump and the so-called "conservative" ideals that he allegedly represents. So I tried to find a country star that wasn’t outward in his/her support of a tyrant. After a deep google dive, I couldn’t find any evidence that Luke Bryan has expressed any support for our president. He’s not outspoken against the guy either, but that was too much to ask for as far as mainstream country goes, I realize. However, I found this hilarious article about Bryan talking about Christmas, which apparently means that he HATES LIBERALS!!!1
How Was It: Unlike the K-Pop album, this was EXACTLY what I expected. If I didn’t know anything about Luke Bryan I would’ve maybe thought this was a parody of country music (okay, here’s the actual country parody). It’s littered with everything you expect: references to praying to God; sing-along choruses about drinking alcohol; plenty of talk about cowboys and whether you are a cowboy and if you’re not should you at least act like it; a song literally called "Huntin’, Fishin’, and Lovin’ Everyday." While some of the songs were okay, maybe even catchy (I did like the aforementioned alcohol-drinking chorus of "Home Alone Tonight," for example), I can’t help but just straight up hate this shit on principle alone. I know, I know, this one’s on me. It absolutely has to do with the "Culture War" aspect of it, as if Bryan is singing "If you’re a good ol’ boy who loves his momma and God and his cowboy boots, then you’re one of the good ones." It just rubs me the wrong way, because I am an asshole. I am an asshole too for imagining all the teens in fake cowboy boots and hats from the Northeast going over to Camden to see Luke Bryan sing this shit at the BB&T Pavilion, and resenting them for it. I’m Holden Caulfield, calling these people phonies!
Will It Stay on My iPod: Nope, fuck this shit.
Genre: Jazz Fusion
Why This Album Particularly: I was tangentially familiar with Thundercat through his work with Kendrick Lamar on To Pimp a Butterfly. Listening to this album, it’s pretty clear what aspect of the sound on that album was due to Thundercat, especially those funky fart-y bass lines and keys.
How Was It: The bar to clear was quite low, but nevertheless, Drunk was the best album I listened to today. It was a little boring at parts; it definitely didn’t have to be close to an hour, and I despise when albums have sub-minute vignettes of any kind (doesn’t matter what band). But it really worked as background music as I typed up some reports at my work desk. Regarding the Kendrick thing—Drunk honestly sounded like the slower parts of To Pimp a Butterfly, minus the rapping. Again, not necessarily a bad thing, but nothing I could see myself getting excited to listen to, ya know?
Will It Stay on My iPod: Hmm. I think this one might actually be a Yes, at least on a trial basis. It was mildly enjoyable, and it might be nice to have a couple more mid-tempo funk jams on the iPod to compliment Childish Gambino’s latest effort. So unlike metal, K-pop, and mainstream country, I didn’t completely hate this!
Love,
Joey
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